War Children

So there I was, riding on the train, minding my own business,  whenI looked up at the posters they display on trains, from the latest mobile phones, to clothing brands, when an advertisement caught my eye, and startled me; Frightened me, and If I had magic powers, a few ‘important’ people, would be sucking shit from a camels ass for food right now.

The poster of a terrified little girl, behind her, bombs exploding, she’s filthy (obviously), the town they’ve pictured her in, is all but rubble, and she’s alone, made my heart do a hundred somersaults.

Then, what really put the cherry on the top of this horrific sight, was the advertisement line from the government asking the public for money to ‘help children in war torn Countries’!? huh? Yes, read it again….

So it goes like this; The USA and the UK, launch attacks on various Countries, in the name of greed.  For oil, for poppy seeds, gold and minerals of all kinds. Knowing that these Countries are helpless to fight back, they bomb the shit out of all the cities, not caring that there are  Mothers, pregnant woman, woman giving birth, crippled people, blind people, but mostly small innocent Children, who, whilst playing outside, are hustled quickly into their homes, by terrified Mothers, hearing the jets flying overhead,  and then, in horror see their neighbours houses get blown apart by  missiles.

The noise is deafening, and the Children scream in terror. They don’t yet realise that the friends who lived next door, are blown to pieces, arms and legs scattered around the rubble, but they see that their friends’ home is no more.

They huddle into their Mothers laps, scared stiff by what is happening, not understanding any of it. The noise, the screams, the sirens, and the mayhem promises to destroy these small Children’s lives forever. Those that survive that is.

So let’s see. The Governments of the strong Countries, slaughter the smaller Countries, in the name of greed. Children are left homeless, orphaned, traumatized out of their minds, petrified, at the hands of the offending Governments leaders – and then we, the public, who are totally against any kind of war, knowing it’s all bullshit, lies, smoke and mirrors, are asked to help donate money for these broken, homeless, orphaned, destroyed Children. and of course, we do. We, unlike the unruly indifferent powers that be, care. and boy, do those dipshits bank on our consciences. I mean we didn’t sign up, we didn’t fire a gun, we didn’t knife anyone, we just got on a train to go to a job, so that we can pay for a roof over our head, and BAM! we’re hit the horror of small children in pictures, begging for ‘the killing to stop’.

‘Why?‘ I ask myself. ‘Why is it, that the USA, the UK can joyfully bomb the crap out of anyone they please, but then THEY, the offending parties, do nothing to help the innocent that they’ve destroyed? Why is there not a WAR charity, set up by the very Governments who perpetrate these attacks, to give all the necessary aid to those who they’ve left in their wake of death and destruction,  crawling with legs blown off, little ones screaming for their parents, and those in hospital, who were already fighting for their lives, long having lost the fight. The hospitals are destroyed?

But hey people I forgot!…. there’s profit to be made in war! So, as the fat shit who sits in Office, drinking a swig or two of whiskey, the most expensive kind in the World, puffing on a Havana cigar, because ‘we’ve just won a victory folks! we secured the oil supply from Iran! Problem over!;  – leaving a Country behind filled with broken, shattered, panic stricken people, who have been thrown into a hell they could never have imagined existed. For what? Greed and hatred, he/she and their cohorts, are laughing loudly with a feeling of ‘Victory’, for murdering innocent people. The sickest part of this is, that they don’t even have the courage to carry out these cowardly acts themselves. Instead, they recruit men and women, who live in poor areas, promising them a ‘good career’…(I guess they don’t mention the fact that the ‘good career’ entails killing innocent people, including Children).

Then there’s a man whose family has been killed in one of the senseless attacks on his County and he’s just lost his entire family due to some Western Country blowing them apart, – maybe they were walking too close to the new oil line that is now being installed…?He’s angry and he’s hurting. What can he do to exact revenge for the family he’s lost? He has nothing left to lose, so he gets into a van, and drives innocent Western people over, kills them, then shoots more, until he’s shot dead. Do you think he cares that he knew he’d die? Of course not! He’s got nothing left, not even a home.

The Westerners are appalled at this man’s ‘cowardly’ act, and the media are fed to announce that it’s ‘radicalists, Islamists, terrorists’…doing this. WHO is the real terrorist here?

Now that’s interesting….What was their Country doing, when their soldiers blew the innocent people, who posed no threat to anyone, apart? Who is the bigger coward? and to add insult to injury, the Western countries, who perpetrate these heinous crimes, don’t have any integrity anyway, but they also don’t even have the morality of setting up a fund PAID FOR BY THE GOVERNMENTS WHO PERPETRATE THESE CRIMES for the victims.

This doesn’t make the man who kills people in anger, right. It only sheds light on why he’s doing what he’s doing. And then there are decent citizens of these very same Western Countries, who try and do whatever they can, to stop the madness. In vain sadly.

What really pisses me off and upsets me no end, is that nothing is different. It’s just abuse and cruelty out in the open. Like 100 years ago, the Colonialists slaughtered, tortured and maimed thousands of African Slaves. They got away with it, and they believed that they were doing what was ‘right’ (in their sick minds). and they used ‘the Bible’ as their excuse! These sicko’s actually went to church every Sunday, holding their pointy noses in the air, singing songs to a God they knew nothing about, but felt very pious about praying to. Then went home to beat the child slave who hadn’t picked enough cotton.

Do you believe the cruelty and violence will ever end?

Even the beautiful, innocent animals are attacked and hunted brutally, to extinction, in the name of money. The Western Man is very clever here. He uses the poor underdog to arrange the poaching of certain animals, so that he can make a fortune from Ivory if that be his choice. The underdog’s family is starving, so he sets the operation up, because the cries of his starving children, drives him to do what the White man tells him to do. For a few measly pence.

Call me a pessimist, but I believe I’m a realist. All the ‘Hollywood’ actors, who show their faces ensuring the press capture their every moment when they visit a poor Country somewhere in Africa, where people are starving, showing them handing out scraps and smiling, whilst forgetting they’re still wearing their Chanel earrings, are an insult to injury. They are nothing more than people who are ego-maniacs.

and not to go on about this, but it’s an issue close to my heart, because I come from Africa, I’ve lived with these people and I know their culture and their thinking, and ANYONE who promises them just £1.00, can make them do anything. Their over-whelming joy and gratitude for a piece of bread, brings tears to my eyes. Who the fuck are these wealthy people, who token adopt these broken Children anyway? What about the others who don’t get adopted??

Do you know, that one ‘star’ (don’t know why they’re called stars, stars are beautiful and don’t call for attention), but anyhow, there’s one ‘star’, who has actually started a campaign amoungst largely uneducated African Children, with the slogan’

Together this generation will put an end to AIDS!.

‘say whhhhaaat?? (no I’m not kidding, and these poor, poverty stricken people believe in this lie. Of course it makes the ‘star’ look ever so important and Godlike. So I guess overnight, whilst studying her lines for her next movie, she’s also undertaking research on how to end AIDS? Holy shit.

Will it end? NO.

So is there anything you can do, we can do?. NO.

UNLESS WE REFUSE TO ENGAGE IN WAR!

Aah we like to believe we’re ‘helping’, when we donate £2.00 to Unicef or some other such organisation, but we’re only doing that to make ourselves ease a conscience we shouldn’t even have to ease. We didn’t start the fire, our ancestors did, and now it’s the current, corrupt, nauseating powers that be have,  due to their vile ego driven self righteousness, greed and hatred, that keep the fires burning, ever hotter.

But I believe in the power of love.

No matter who is killing who, if every single person refused to fight, it would stop.

If every single person stopped harping on about how ‘unfair’ it was to their people 200 years ago, and instead just adopted love, and concentrated on the NOW, they’d wake up to TODAY’S reality. War doesn’t care about colour, age, creed. It’s now also blamed on Religion, like it has been for eons, but that’s just a smoke screen for the real reason.

If every single person, when seeing an elderly lady or gentleman waiting to cross the street, walked up to her and helped her or him.

If every single person, who heard their neighbours baby crying all night, took the trouble to knock on their door and check it out, for the sake of the child, who could be being abused.

If every single person, stopped worrying about how badly WE have it, and rather showered love on others, and held gratitude for what we do have, then, like one candle in the dark, a million can be lit.

It’s simple.

DO NOT ENGAGE IN ANY WAR FOR ANY REASON WHATSOEVER! I

It’s a lie that’s been sold to people who feel they should ‘protect’ their Countries, when really, the real threat lies within their own Countries Borders. sitting in plush offices drinking expensive whiskey, puffing on Havana cigars, while telling rude jokes.

 

 

 

 

 

Thats what friends are for! Right?

“Phone rings” trrrr, trrrr, you answer “hello?”

Friend; “hi, how are you?”

you; I’m good and you?”

Friend; “I really need your advice on something. Paul seems to be acting up lately, not sure if I’m projecting or what, but what he’s doing is…..(3 hours later) …your ear is burning and all you’ve done is listen and try help, be sympathetic and more.

Friend; “aah thanks so much my friend, don’t know what I’d do without you”

you; “pleasure, that’s what friends are for right?” Chat later, and you put the phone down.

Next morning phone ringing early, trrr, trrr,

you;”hello.?”

Friend; “you’ll never believe what I found when I searched through Paul’s phone….I’m destroyed, he always…..(3hours later). …..you haven’t had a cup of tea due to extended sympathy, ear is burning, but , hey, that’s what friends are for right?

Friend “omg, I don’t know what I’d do without you” and puts the phone down.

This continues over a period of 3 weeks. You email destroyed friend with advice, you send positive messages to her, you look up quotes from famous people on “love” and send them to her via Facebook privately, and listen to her rant, rave, swear, accuse, scream, cry and whine about everything on the planet for hours everyday.

But, that’s what friends are for right? BEING there for one another.

Next morning, phone rings, “trrr trrr”. Your sister just called you, to tell you that she’s just been diagnosed with incurable cancer. The one sister who’s been more close to you than your partner or anyone else. You are totally devastated obviously and go into serious crying mode. This just can’t be happening! “I have to speak to someone, I’m heartbroken. I’m going to call my Friend. She’ll help me with this ”

Friends phone rings “trrr trrr”

Friend “hello?”

you sobbing uncontrollably “hi, my sister just called me, she’s dying! What can I do.? Help me!”

Friend; “oh no, that’s awful, but you mustn’t worry too much, doctors can be wrong”

you; NO! She’s had every test done imaginable, she’s lost over20 pounds in weight over the past mont…..

.”Friend interjects….

“can I call you back sweetie, Paul’s on the other line. Sorry won’t be long”

you (hurt) “sure, ok”….and you wait by the phone anxiously…..

The sun is setting, Friend hasn’t called back, nor mailed, nor facebooked, (although you’ve noticed she’s been active on Facebook during the day, only, not with you).

Next morning. Phone rings “trrr trrr”

you; “hello?” In a croaking cried out voice.

Friend; “hiiii! Oh my word, I totally forgot to call you back yesterday, but it’s just that Paul and I had a huge argu…….

You interject loudly “FUCK OFF”, !!! And slam the phone down.

You then gather yourself, and go visit your dying sister, who greets you with a huge skeletal smile. “Come and have some tea”! She says, hugging you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Abuse

When we talk about abuse, there are many various ways people see abuse, or feel about abuse.

Some people feel that if the shop owner shouts at them for reading a magazine without paying for it, that is abuse.

Other people feel that if their Spouse comes home and moans about the dinner, that is abuse.

And yet another person who’s partner slaps them around the face when he or she is angry, feels that is abuse.

Can we call the above actions abusive?

Yes of course we can. But as adults, we’re able to process what is being hurled at us, and deal with it appropriately.

A child however, when neglected; or sexually abused; physically abused; mentally abused or emotionally abused;  doesn’t see or know that they’re being abused. They normally internalize the horrific abuse they are suffering, and blame themselves for doing something ‘wrong’.

They try hard to find out what they’re doing wrong, because in their innocent minds, they believe that they must be doing something wrong to be so hurt in so many ways all the time, or frequently, mostly by people who are supposed to love them. People they trust and look up to. So something like the following happens;

‘I must be quieter, if I don’t talk or laugh then I’m a good girl/boy , then they’ll love me’….so the child loses his or her voice.

‘If I hide away all day, in the bushes, or in the park, then they won’t see me and I’ll be safe for a while and I won’t make them angry’….so the child becomes invisible. Losing Self at the same time.

‘If I make tea all day and cook dinner, even though the stove is a bit high up for me, they’ll see what a good hard working boy/girl I am, and then they’ll love me’….so the child becomes a slave in his or her home..growing up to believe that to be loved is to work as hard as one can no matter what the work is.

There are a gazillion examples of how small children who are being abused think and feel, but always, always they try their best to ‘fix’ it. Never does the abused child believe that their parents, siblings, Uncles, Aunts or anyone else that they love, does these things to them, because they’re HORRIBLE, EVIL people who should be shot.

Never does the abused child seek help, because he or she believes they’re naughty and deserve the punishment. It doesn’t occur to an innocent child, that they can seek help; and what is being done to them, is evil and deeply despicable in it’s worst form.

One of the WORST outcomes of childhood abuse, (apart from death), is the child consenting to the abuse, believing that is love.  The fact that whatever the abuse is, is hurting them and causing massive damage and harm to them physically, emotionally and mentally, does not enter their minds. They learn to accept it, believing that this is what love is…..so the child grows up moving from abusive relationship to abusive relationship, never able to settle down with a healthy relationship, because they’ve grown up with abuse. The abused child – now adult, recognises abuse as love. If they’re not being abused, they may feel unloved, because actual love, the reality of love, is foreign to them. Like a language they don’t understand.

The other HORROR that comes from such abuse in a small child’s life, is mental illness. Not only are they scarred from years of abuse in one form or another or many at the same time, but they’re then stuck with a broken brain, that won’t function normally, suffer deep depressions, and very often end up killing themselves and/or self harming. Not due to the abuse strangely enough, but due to the resultant mental illness the abuse has caused.

This reality brought me to thinking about what is happening to the Children stuck in war zones around the World. Starving Children, who get slapped or punched if they don’t stop crying from hunger, or ignored, or put out to prostitution from as young as 8 years old.

Children lying next to their dead Mother’s or Father’s, with blood gushing out their Parent’s head, desperately trying to wake their Mother or Father up. Not understanding what is going on, and terrified.

Children who are so traumatised at the sight of their entire families being blown up, they too, lose their voices, and if they do ever manage to speak again,  they usually stutter or suffer other speech impediments….and definitely suffer a mental illness.

I won’t go on. It’s way too distressing, but to say that if you are a victim of Child abuse in any form or fashion, whether you suffer a mental illness because of it or not. Take your power back! Tell yourself it never was your fault. Forgive yourself. Sounds crazy, but you carry guilt only due to the fact that you could never process what was happening to you in the right way, so forgive yourself.

I always advise people who write to me as I’m a mental health advocate; to write it all down. Be brave. Be courageous. Write everything you endured down and then read it. Read it again. Accept it, because you cannot change it. Then burn the paper you’ve written it on. Every time a memory crops up, immediately drop it. Don’t dwell on it.

The past is over. It no longer exists. You cannot bring one moment of the past into your present. Good or bad. So let it go. Drop it. Everytime a thought about whomever it was that hurt you comes into your head, drop the thought immediately.

No matter how bitter, broken, hurt, angry, disappointed, or wishful we are about a horrendous Childhood;  won’t change it, or make it better. Nothing will candy coat the sickening truth. So acceptance (not forgiving or writing to that person, or even thinking of them) is necessary, for healing.

Not accepting what or who they are, but accepting that the past happened. It’s done. No amount of therapy will make it pretty.

Basically, you can’t unfuck a fuck, but you can choose to drop it.

Past and future are in the mind only — I am now.

– Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

A note on Bipolar and Borderline

Hi Folks,

I really wish you all a great year ahead, with loads of love and laughter.

I personally don’t believe in ‘New Year’ resolutions, because when they fail, one gets to feel like a failure, measuring yourself against some idea you came up with for this New Year! I say just do what comes naturally to you, and don’t pressure yourself. It’s simply not worth it.

We decided to close ‘TradeRoutz’ website, because it was costing a fortune, and I know zip about how to promote and keep a website up on google’s ratings, and the stress became too much for me. So I switched to Ebay to sell my goods, and it’s working! No more distress, which is GOOD for a Bi Polar.

On the note of Bi polar disorder, as well as Borderline disorder,  I’m very happy to let you all know, that a psychologist contacted me, through my youtube channel, on mental illness (Bipolarline) – and is willing to counsel those of you who are struggling for FREE! This is almost unheard of, and I’m so grateful to him.

The cost to see Psychologists, or Psychiatrists is huge, and most people cannot afford it, so they go largely ignored, end up homeless and take to street drugs, which eventually kill them. This is the tragedy facing people who suffer with mental illness of any kind, who simply don’t have the funds to seek help.

The stats for Bi Polar disorder seem to be rising, as well as Borderline Personality disorder. I feel the reason for this, is that those afflicted with these conditions feel ‘safer’ to disclose them.

Mental illness still has such a stigma attached to it, which to my mind shows the incredible ignorance and lack of care from the public at large, who haven’t a clue about what mental illness is! Most think that people with mental illness are dangerous. Not true. Please research if you are unsure!

Please visit my youtube channel – Bipolarline – where I share everything I know with not only sufferers of Bi Polar and Borderline, but their partners and family members too.

Bi Polar is a horrible condition, which the late Carrie Fisher suffered from as well, and  much more awareness needs to be raised about this condition, as well as funding for those who have no money to seek help.

Together we can make this happen.

With love

Deborah

 

Mental illness and Addiction

Hi Folks,

It’s a well documented fact, that people with Borderline personality disorder, as well as Bipolar disorder, plus some other mental illnesses suffer with addiction of one kind or another.

This is not to say that the person who is mentally ill is a ‘bad person’, or that they are just ‘seeking fun’. The opposite is true.

A Bipolar or Borderline person for e.g. are normally addicted to some kind of substance or another. This could be alcohol, drugs (prescription or hard drugs), sex, shopping, going out all night, and so on. There is a solid reason for this. They are simply trying to numb the constant pain that exists in their hearts and minds. They are trying to dampen the effects of the depression they suffer constantly. They are not ‘bad’ people. They are ill people.

The world seems fixated on an idea that ‘drug addicts’ or ‘alcoholics’ are soft wimps who can’t ‘cut it’. This attitude fuels the fire of the deeply depressed mentally ill person, who is in trouble. Knows it, but feels helpless to do anything.

When you are in emotional and mental torment all of the time, one will do almost anything to stop it. Sadly, the stigma surrounding mental illness has made Society fall short of compassion for the mentally ill, rather, labeling them as ‘wimps or dangerous’.

It’s excessively disheartening to be labeled as anything! If a person with Bipolar disorder, or Borderline disorder goes off the rails badly (meaning, they’re in a crisis), some Countries offer little to no help. The result? Suicide. This tragedy also comes with debt. When a mentally ill person is stuck with insurmountable debt that he or she has accumulated, through no fault of their own, but due to how the sickness manifests, and Companies threaten to sue for their money, often the mentally ill person will take their life.

I believe that IF the stigma was removed, and it was a known FACT that some people who are mentally ill (more so than others, as in: various degrees of the said illness), the compassion shown by the public who ARE coping, would largely put an end to the alarming rates of suicide, self-harm, as well as getting into trouble in the first instance.

So, the next time you happen upon an alcoholic or drug addict who is more than likely mentally ill,  take the time to know them. Take time to find out who they are, and perhaps you can make a difference. BE the change……

It all begins and ends with LOVE and COMPASSION.

Till next time folks

Love

Deborah x