Manifesting thieves.

Many adverts promising lies are thrown at us daily. You cannot open a single piece (if that’s the word) on social media, without some bullshit being peddled.

lets begin with the spam phone calls. No, I don’t feel sorry for the twit who’s taken a job, that he/she knows entails lying to people all day everyday. You’ve  installed the app that stops these calls, but these crooks are super smart, and by the time the app is installed, they’ve opened a new gateway.  You should know by now, that after you say “hello”, and you’re greeted with silence, (coz they’re trying to bypass app and plug in), it’s spam. Put the phone down. But we don’t. “I’ve got the app” you think, and feel safe. Maybe it’s old Aunty Mildred from Australia calling. But no…

A woman or man, normally a woman with the most efficient voice says “good day, is this x,y,z that I’m speaking to.” You answer “yes”, and OFF she goes, like a dog with a bone, rabbiting on about ‘an accident you had, which you’re owed compensation for’.

Slightly irritated, you put the phone down, not bothering to entertain her nonsense, and sometimes you yell a healthy F. OFF! Depending on your mood.

I scratch my head wondering…

How is it possible, for people to phone other people, knowing they’re talking absolute b.s. and feel nothing? She knows, before she puts the telepromt on, to read the lie to you, that she’s nothing but a low down pathetic liar. She or He, is aware that their job is to lie to people, and they’re okay with this! Like politicians and lawyers.

The worst however, is the “MANIFEST” lie. The thousands of adverts that cover our screens, promising soooo many ways to “manifest” dream jobs, partners, homes, ad nauseum…but the most revolting of this lie, is the promise of manifesting millions.

Why?  …

Because there truly are people, desperate people, who’ll spend their last dime signing up to some bogus site that promises to ensure the manifestation of their dreams, mostly money, (which doesn’t happen) , leaving such people feeling like losers (besides broke and depressed).

All confidence in Self is removed when the millions don’t manifest, leaving the desperate person feeling like a total failure and fool, and completely out of pocket. Of course, they’re blamed by the bogus thieves, who’ve taken their money, if they question why the manifesting didn’t come to fruition!

Lets put the bullshit into perspective;

The man or woman who presents The motivational video, that lures the unsuspecting viewer  is only an actor, filmed in hired locations, or studios, and you’ve swallowed it all, putting all of your energy, money and effort in, innocently believing and excitedly expecting!

If one uses just 1 brain cell, and if one had zero conscience, then that one would be the one hiring models and actors, hooking up websites with pictures of glory that’ll blow the unsuspecting persons mind, and that one would be rubbing their palms in delight, as the poor ba..ards give all their money, hoping to purchase heaven, only to land in hell.

 

 

 

The Mind is the Source of Happiness and Unhappiness…Buddha

How do I do this? Seriously, HOW the fuck do I do this?

They’re holding your ‘ceremony’ where they’ll sprinkle your ashes in the forest, and then the dysfunctional shitty lot of them, will all get pissed, be ever so dramatic, talk about wonderful, crazy, exciting, witty, daredevil stunts you did, many of which will be untrue, but they’ll all  agree, nod their heads,  exclaiming ‘exactly!; in tandom, no matter what anyone says about you.

Some will cry and sob, and make it all about them, just so that others can put an arm around their shoulders and whisper, ‘oh don’t cry honey, I know it hurts, but she’s in a better place’, and that’ll make the self pitying, self loving, self obsessed person feel so much better. Of course, it’ll become all about who is the most ‘hurt’…how ‘wrong and unfair’ it is that you took your life. So many questions will be asked amoungst them, stupid questions like ‘WHY? she had such a good life!’ or, ‘WHY didn’t she reach out to ME!’ ‘I would’ve helped her! I could’ve stopped her!’ and their pointless self serving bullshit will go on the entire day.

I hear they’re going to be streaming the ‘ceremony’ they’re holding for you, to all who loved you, so that they can be there in real time, albeit over the net. That’s good. I’m happy. There are many people that truly loved you. Your severe mental illness, wouldn’t allow your mind to acknowledge that though. I get that. It’s not your fault.

So my precious Sister. I’m sorry I won’t be at the ‘big’ ceremony. I cannot partake in a party filled with self serving, egotistical, dysfunctional people. As you know, hell, I’m not that functional myself!

I’m sorry I don’t have the guts to join them.

Please understand that I will, with my own family, go to the place where they hold your ceremony the weekend after. To the woods where they’ll scatter your ashes,  with my statue of Buddha firmly under my arm. Incense in hand, loads of candles, that I hope the wind won’t blow out and incense. Lots of incense.

We’ll sit quietly where your ashes are sprinkled. One of us will sing to you. I’ll light all the candles and put flowers all over Buddha. I’ll put your scarf around Buddha, and we’ll sit in a circle holding hands, then as the Gods hold our hands, we’ll peacefully let you go.

I hurt. I pray you have found the freedom now, to really live in Peace.

Your ever loving Sister. I will miss you forever.

buddha

 

 

 

Wolves raised by Lions  

People who suffer with mental illness, in this case, lets say ‘bipolar disorder and/or borderline disorder’ are, apart from all the tears, fears, loneliness and other horrors, only trying to find our pack.

It is my feeling, that we are like wolves, having been raised by lions.! We just don’t belong here.

We’ll think of a wonderful, exciting, over the top, crazy wonderful thing to do, but our ‘lion’ pack will look at us with crossed eyebrows, a bit of irritation and tell us to ‘calm down’. To ‘not be so silly’, or the worst ‘have you taken your meds today?’

Our wolf pack, where we actually belong, would’ve run with us, tumbled in the grass, laughed out loudly, and been as excited as we are!

The lions who have raised us, are simply not like us. They don’t think the way we do. They don’t know what we know and they do not understand us. Often we annoy them with our playful, cheeky natures, and when we don’t want to play, they cannot move us, no matter how loudly they roar!

Our wolf pack, who we are desperately searching for, know us. They understand us, and when we don’t want to play, they will lie down next to us, to ensure we feel safe. Wolves don’t roar. Wolves howl at the full moon, because wolves are spiritual creatures. Lions are beautiful but basic.

We are not basic, yet we are beautiful.

We don’t roar, we howl. We howl for many reasons and every single one of them come from deep within our core. We can howl for days on end, and our sadness in knowing that the lions who raised us, just don’t ‘get it’, makes us howl louder, or, quietens us down, as we creep into a hole, the way wolves do.

We want to dance in the tulips.

We want to play in the rain.

We want to roll in the grass, and slip in the mud.

We want to learn how to pole dance, even if we are 20 pounds overweight, because we have long since stopped worrying about our size.

We want to get up on stage and sing a song, even though we sing out of tune, because it’s fun!

We want to laugh with little children, and dry their tears when they cry, because somehow, we identify with them.

We want to care for the elderly and make them smile, because by cheering up just one person, makes it all worth it.

We walk our talk, and we talk our truth.

We are not fickle, nor do we pretend.

We are authentic and real, and although we are not easy to understand, we are honest in all ways.

We are not crazy, we are wonderfully colourful, brave and strong.

We are wolves, looking for our pack.

 

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13 reasons

As beautifully suggested by mahbuttitches (god, gotta luv that name), I’m writing my 13 reasons why I haven’t killed myself, and then 13 reasons why I am happy.

13 reasons why I’ve not committed suicide.

1. My children. I couldn’t take my life no matter how rough and raw it got, or gets, as i love them too much to desert them in this way and break their hearts.

2.  I refuse to give the mean bastards out there any sense of satisfaction. Let them stew in me living regardless of how cruel they can be.

3.  Spirituality. I’m deeply immersed in the Truth, and the truth has removed the need to end it all.

4.  It’s doesn’t seem fair to take away the normals judgment. nope. Gotta let them have an opinion even if it’s way off mark.

5.  My love for animals. I adore elephants especially.

6.  Despite being a bit batshit crazy, there are people who really love me. I appreciate them so much.

7.  I love being a mental health advocate. My ability from Grace to help others who suffer, fills me with gratitude.

8.  Gratitude. In learning gratitude, I found a meaning to live.

9.  Shew this is getting tough. I’m running out of reasons, so can’t kill myself, as I have to find more reasons.

10.  Love. Love kills the demon. Every time. Being able to love sincerely brings joy.

11.  I beat 100’000000 sperms in the race to get here! Ok maybe I shoved a few out the way, but I made it!

12.  Babies. They always fill me with joy.

13.  Because I don’t feel like it.

 

im too tired to say why I’m happy, but I truly am, and for so many reasons, it’s exhausting to contemplate listing them. But the number 1 reason, is finding freedom and truth after years of searching. ❤️❤️❤️

A HEADS UP!

So, I haven’t written in such a long time, but life has been happening. Sorry for not having read your blogs for a while.

This recently came to my attention, and LADIES, I feel I need to warn you!

when googling myself, you know, to check what was out there, regarding me, I came upon hundreds of my profile photos that I’d innocently uploaded over the years onto Facebook.

I know diddly squat about how this works, so began a painstaking process of removing all of my images from google. It’s one hell of a process, which im still to check if they’re removed.

However, I then happened upon one of my pictures of me, that a woman who wrote she hailed from Texas, using MY face and name as HERS! Who went on to claim all sorts of crap about herself (me) and this doesn’t serve to make me all proud and vain …like (ooo look, someone wants my face!) noooo, I was scared shitless and reported it immediately to google, who I pray has removed it. And her, (me) whoever she or he is.

Then, it gets worse. We innocently post our favourite profile pics of ourselves on Facebook, and guess what’s happening to your pic if “they” like it?

Well, it’s taken from your profile, and is then used in porno mags, putting YOUR face, photoshopped onto a naked woman’s body, legs wide open, with God knows what else on or who’s with (you, ) perhaps some animals like donkeys or something, clearly looking exactly like it’s you doing the porn thing. No way to tell the difference, and no way to defend yourself. This, my friends, is now presumed by everyone who purchases porn mags, to be YOUR body, and YOU, like getting cozy with whatever they wanna do with your pics.!!

so please do yourself a favour. Google your name, on google obviously, and have a look at the amount of info that’s out there, using your name and face. Then, go through the long annoying process of removing all images of yourself off of Google.

Then you might want to use a plant, shell, animal, whatever, as every picture you put on fb or even blogging sites as you.

Protect yourselves! There are seriously creepy, bad people out there, and I certainly never even thought about this happening.

The same goes for people, who try befriend you on fb. DONT accept anyone, unless you personally know them. False pictures and names are used to get into your account, and the hell begins. It’s just another form of hacking. In such an evil sinister way.

wheres my cave!? Oh that’s right, I found it, and will be forever more a beautiful plant.